#20 - The Perfect Day with Your Child Does Exist (3 Tips to Cultivate Calm and Connection)

Ever feel like your days with your kids spiral into chaos before they even begin?What if I told you the “perfect day” with your child isn’t just a dream — it’s possible, and it starts with intention? In this episode of Kingdom Mothers, I’m sharing 3 practical tips to help you curate peaceful, joy-filled days with your kids.

You’ll learn how to:
 🌱 Plan your day before it begins, with purpose and ease
 🌱 Create activity sessions that nurture connection and creativity
 🌱 Steward your child’s heart by being fully present and intentional

If you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed and want to bring more calm and connection into your home, this episode will equip you to lead your family with peace. Let’s build the “perfect day” — not through perfection, but through purpose.

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Transcript

10:27:15 Welcome back to another episode of Kingdom Mothers. I'm your host, Bernie Thomas.
10:27:20 And today I want to talk about Creating your perfect Kingdom Mother Day with your children.
10:27:29 Now, I've been blessed to actually have a couple of these.
10:27:32 Even recently. And that is always encouraging And so I want to share some things that I did to help those days run more smooth to bring in more peace and calmness to really set the day up for success.
10:27:52 With my son and I. Now, some of these things may you may just have to like work around your personal schedule. I mean, I recognize everybody's life is different I am blessed to be able to stay home.
10:28:08 Full time with my son. I do have several different income streams and businesses. I do web design. I do coaching.
10:28:17 Of doing some affiliate partnerships to help supplement bring in some supplemental income But for the most part, when we are home, like if he's not in pre-K and we're together I'm pretty much like single moming because my husband works night shifts, so he sleeps until early afternoon
10:28:39 And then… that's when he kind of takes over and goes into dad mode. So we already have a unique schedule ourselves And I know there's some of you listening who work full time or part-time. And so every day may not look the same. And I'm coming into this conversation
10:28:56 With that as well like we are in pre-K three days a week. So I'm really looking at Tuesdays and Thursdays and weekends right now and weekends can be hit or miss on whether we're traveling right But for the days when I'm actually home all day with my son.
10:29:12 And I know I'm not really going to have a village or that support How can I create an atmosphere of peace and love joy, patience, like bringing the fruit of the spirit into my So that's what we're diving into today. This episode blesses you let's dive in.
10:29:38 Okay, so what I want to share with you today is how I set my day up.
10:29:44 When I've been able to set my day up for success, this is what I found really worked.
10:29:51 So I created, the first step I did is I created a list.
10:29:55 I am type A. I love a good list. I love a good checklist So whether you do this on an app or you do it on a piece of paper.
10:30:05 Write it down. And so what i did this week that I've been repeating it and I found that the system has actually worked really great.
10:30:15 Is to make my list is to make my list My list was breakfast.
10:30:20 Bible time? We did art time, music time reading time, like I had kind of different kind of activities, if you will.
10:30:32 Throughout the day. And then I also had like, what were my three priorities that I needed to get done? Was it like doing laundry dishes? Was it doing like something for one of my clients?
10:30:41 So I had also had things that I wanted to do things that i wanted to do my son and I, and then what were some things that I needed to accomplish just as an adult?
10:30:51 To keep life going, right? So I wrote that down And I love a good piece of You know, piece of paper and pen. But I also love the My Agenda app And that is great to track my daily tasks and priorities as well.
10:31:08 Okay, so I had basically a list of things I wanted to accomplish throughout the day.
10:31:17 But I didn't have a timestamp on them. Whether they got done in that specific order or not.
10:31:22 I didn't box that schedule in. And my son had already been talking about hybrid into finger pain so We already knew we were going to do that.
10:31:34 But we had breakfast at the table. Then I'm like, we are making when we're home in the mornings and we're not rushing out the door Bible time is going to be a priority. And so I've been, instead of getting up early to do bible time
10:31:46 He wakes me up multiple times throughout the night. So I've been like… I'm just going to take my rest and then we're going to use morning Bible time together. And then sometimes I'll do Bible time throughout the day or at night by myself.
10:32:00 Anyway, so that was actually really cool. And I just read one page, like I read the Beatitudes.
10:32:05 And Matthew and talked about like how he's the salt and light of the world I mean, like Jesus's light shines through. So those are really beautiful And I've loved being able to do Bible time with him and incorporate that into our schedule, our routine.
10:32:22 Because this is one of the best ways he's going to know that reading your Bible needs to be a priority Your relationship with Jesus needs to be a priority and nobody else is going to show him that.
10:32:32 Except for me and my husband. And so I just had to learn that Bible time with my son is actually a blessing and not an annoyance.
10:32:41 Or a sacrifice. And that took a little while for my heart to change because I used to get really frustrated when I would sit down to do Bible time and he'd like.
10:32:48 Ask me to do something or he's like, wait, I would literally wake up at like 5.15 to get up and he'd wake up at like 510. I'm like, are you kidding me?
10:32:56 And so instead of trying to fight against the spiritual warfare and fighting against the schedule. I'm just like, you know what i'm going to lean into it and I'm going to teach my son how to teach my son you don't learn a Bible verse and how to
10:33:09 Prioritize the Bible time and prayer time and teach them how to pray. And it's been so rewarding. So I encourage you to do this and lean into the mess. It is okay if this is messy as loud like he's going to have at the table at times he's
10:33:23 Been kind of flipping through his own book that he was reading.
10:33:28 But then like he would put his head down And listen to me.
10:33:34 You know give me maybe they need something to like be a little bit busy if they're younger and it's harder for them to sit still but like this is still instilling in them seeds that will bear fruit in years to come.
10:33:48 So that was like really cool. And then I kind of let him decide like, hey, do you want to do finger painting next? Do you want to read some stories together?
10:33:58 Do we want to go outside and play? And so I also let him take responsibility of some of the activities and the timeline of the day.
10:34:09 With boundaries, right? So we actually had a great time doing some artwork and that we listened to I have a record player and we listen to some Johnny Cash on the record player And then, you know, when my husband woke up, it was a nice day out. So we actually did go outside for a walk and you know that turned into like a workout.
10:34:31 Slash just getting outside and having fun together. So also looking for opportunities where, okay, if I need to do Bible time, I need to work out I need to eat healthy and prioritize like different things for myself, how can I fit them into what I'm doing with my
10:34:49 My child so that I'm actually training them up in the way that they should go. I'm instilling them good seeds and good skill sets.
10:34:56 That they're going to need as an adult. And so, yes, what I love to do my Bible time by myself, what I love to work out For 45 minutes by myself absolutely In this season though, I'm leaning into it doesn't have to look the way it used to in an old season.
10:35:14 And that has actually given me a lot of freedom And allowed me to enjoy this season of motherhood so much more, just releasing the expectation of this is what the specific activity or task needs to look like and it has to be done this way in this timeline
10:35:30 And just releasing some of that control and be like, that's going to show up in the mess And it's going to be beautiful.
10:35:37 There's still going to be good fruit that comes from it just by me showing up.
10:35:42 So I want to encourage you with that as well. Okay, so let's recap, right? We're making our list. We are… creating different activities throughout the day, but we're also holding them loosely to a timeline. If you have the ability to do that.
10:36:00 And then, you know, the next, what I found is that when I was able to do these different activities and have these priorities, I was able to move us along through the day so much easier without… pushback from him and without him being born or
10:36:21 Kind of just, I don't know, like his emotions seemed more stable When I had these different activities set up for him and we had the boundaries in place.
10:36:31 We had the list. Just did he have a couple meltdowns here and there, especially around like snack time and lunchtime? Yes, of course. Then I found it was so much easier to manage them because I was already in a state of
10:36:45 Regulation and like i i wasn't feeling overstimulated. And so I could help him so much easier Because my emotional capacity was higher And the atmosphere was already founded on peace.
10:37:00 And, you know, the fruit of the spirit And so I was able to actually speak life into him during those moments instead of like feeling myself become overstimulated or overwhelmed.
10:37:13 And that just was like making a great day. Now that we have days where he's like, it doesn't matter what I try to do. He's just like not on board with it. Absolutely. And that makes motherhood hard and that does like
10:37:26 Make the same patient, right? Staying in the fruit of the spirit in alignment with that.
10:37:32 More difficult and that is what I do find that you know we both need to just lean into our village. And so maybe I'm leaning more on my husband or i'm leaning on a friend and you know i have a
10:37:45 The beautiful village of the village friends that will offer to will trade, you know, like I watch your son, you watch my son or like watch I'll take the boys, you take the boys. And so that's been such a beautiful resource to find other mamas who are in the same season.
10:38:02 And we see each other and we get each other and we can help each other When we just like needed that break.
10:38:10 So let me think if there's anything else I want to share about like creating that quote unquote perfect day of just like joy and peace For, you know, motherhood.
10:38:22 But I think what I've learned and what I'm continuing to learn as I do this is that it really does prioritize Create your day before your day begins.
10:38:31 And this is like, I learned this in my business era days When I was really focusing on coaching and helping women achieve different goals in their businesses.
10:38:41 You have to create your day before it begins. Whether you create that list the night before, which I do recommend like having a bedtime routine where you're like looking at the day And you're already prioritizing. So when you wake up, it's like you already know what you need to do.
10:38:56 And your day is already like planned out for you. To a certain extent. So making that list having the different priorities that you want in your day to get done so that you actually get them done. But holding them loosely to
10:39:12 Not you know whether they get out of order or it's not like a specific timeline, you can have a time frame like maybe between eight and noon, I want to get these different tasks done or I want to like do these different activities with my child.
10:39:25 Lean into that. I think that's fine. But if we start trying to force our children to be like We have to do this and this time and it's going to be 15 minutes Yes, that will work for a little bit, but I have found, and maybe that's just
10:39:40 Because I have such a strong-willed child. Is that?
10:39:47 I can, you know. Put the boundary around the time a little bit, but to do that all day usually just backfires for me.
10:39:57 So we need freedom. My child needs freedom to flow and it allows us to flow through the day instead of like forcing the day to happen.
10:40:07 We're flowing with the day. And with our body's needs as well. So taking into consideration, like, are we tired? Are we feeling sick like what Is it rainy outside? What's the weather like, right? And that does impact some of our mood and it impacts like our energy level and it can impact
10:40:27 The activities of the day. And we're currently in like a winter season right now It is a lot of, okay, what can we do inside that can help my child get energy out that will help him you know, still learn and grow and also not drive me crazy
10:40:46 So hopefully this episode was helpful for you mamas who maybe do stay home full time or you're transitioning into stay at home or you're more like part-time or you're just like, what do I do on the weekends? Because I'm like.
10:41:00 Tired and I want to pour into my child because I don't get that time with them throughout the week And so how can i still create like a peaceful atmosphere and an environment where they can learn and grow and I can actually pour into them.
10:41:15 And create that kingdom impact. Those are my little tips.
10:41:21 Let me know if those are helpful for you. I would love to hear back from you guys as well. Like this is a community where we're sharing with each other so Feel free to connect with me on victorious Acres Living on Instagram or Kingdom Mothers Unite on TikTok.
10:41:35 And you can always text me. I would love to hear your feedback on, hey, this is working or I found this activity to be really fun.
10:41:44 I have a high energy sun Who just, yeah, he just energy all like nonstop all day pretty much so keeping him busy is sometimes a challenge for me who I'm like kind of a low lower energy or like just kind of like a steady flow person
10:42:09 So it's been, it's definitely been a long curve for me to embrace his personality and like figure out what supports his personality and his supports his personality Needs for growth.
10:42:22 And so far, this has been working, creating that perfect mother child bonding day where we're both enjoying each other's company Life is flowing. Activities are flowing.
10:42:34 And we are experiencing more peace and patience and kindness with each other.
10:42:39 So hopefully this is helpful. I love you guys. Have a great day and I'll see you on the next episode.